It is important to pay attention to ourselves first and to others after. People who wish to blend or enter another in training or in an actual conflict tend to make themselves in the shape and tempo of the other to blend into him or her. In doing this we distort and change ourselves giving us tension, change of alignment and breath. For example if someone comes at me with his arms to grab me I may see an opening to perform a technique and mold myself to make it happen but within this action I break my own form and try to fit in. Work to see instead of looking for something, and you will see all. Work to blend by seeing and feeling where you can go as a whole moving the way you do and breathing without changing your own rhythm and avoid trying to complete someone else’s picture. Paint your own.
A nice way to note this tension from outside created by the focus in outer things is by looking at a direct target. Look at a tree and have a friend move and twist your neck for you and find how you tense up and how you are already tense by fixating on the outside. Now relax your eyes and just see and repeat the drill and note if there is less initial tension and less tension in movement as you remove this leaning of the eyes. Now close your eyes and repeat and take something from the drill.
Let me know what you think.