Dealing and controlling your tension within contact is important to mastering your self. With a partner work on stand up or ground close work of body on body and have your partenr switch from tense and hard to free and relaxed work on his own accord. After you do this drill several times go for the middle distance of withing reach and later on on the third distance where you have to step or move in for contact. It is very important to keep breathing and doing the work without letting your intentions or emotions get in the way. We all have a picture in our heads of how the future will look. Simply see what is in front of you and have the humility to know you do not.
Stay within yourself and choose your movement and tension. Breathe and keep from harm. that is all.