I was usually victorious in the playground. I held my own against ones and twos and threes. I once faced six older bigger boys and they won. They won the first. They did not win the second.
Figure that as you will.
A side note: If you consider the tone harsh, you may not remember how children fight.
The subject of bullies usually goes towards the prevention of bullies. That will not happen as it is a part of the human condition to seek dominance and bullies represent a small type of that warfare.
Let us invest in accepting the human way of now and dealing with it. You do not cross the mountain by walking around it. You cross it by learning your innate ability to make the mountain your ally. fire is death and fire is life. Make the obstacle a ladder and climb it up. This may not seem kid friendly but kids are people and when you treat them as such they grow up instead of just growing old.
THE MIND GAME
We start at the mind because the affects stay there the longest. Bones mend but perceptions can scar a lifetime. The body makes its own micro choices but the mind is the leader.
Set up the inner playground:
- It is ok to lose. Just do better next time. Small steps are harder to stop.
- Some people say things because they want you to believe them. Not because they do.
- It is ok to make things up as you go. No one knows the entire picture.
- No one is perfect including dead heroes and the published word.
- Defense is answering a stupid question. Never answer, always choose.
- It is all right to say NO. It is a choice and it is yours.
- Always look at things from all sides of the transactions. Does everyone benefit ? Is it getting better or worse ? What is the direction ? Does it fit your needs as well as the needs of the others?
- Jokes and laughter take the sting and stink away from many things.
- No self improvement is ever finished. Enjoy the road and the wind in your hair if you have any.
- Sometimes you just lose. It can take a while to climb but seeing the landscape helps. There are small favors in each cruelty if you make it through and even if you don’t. Make the landscape wide in your head.
- Play the game of losing and winning in your head on a regular basis. Work it out so you know what you want to do when you win and when you lose. Win a few times (in different ways) for every time you lose in your head.
THE MOVEMENT GAME
I know about people who always win with grace. In books and comics.
- There is a great book – six ways in twelve ways out – find different ways to do the same thing. That goes for many things. Tying your shoe laces, the way to school, brushing your teeth and so on. Creating a mindset that you can find a way is more important than practicing common movement in a martial art class. Later on, there is a need to work this in a confrontational manner. bypass pushing hands and feet, find ways to keep moving when held and so on in small steps and with many laughs. Finding humor in the process of finding the way is key in continuing on that important facet of living.
- “From the top of the mountain you can only see the mountain” We all build walls around us to protect and shy away from the unknown and the dangerous in our mind. We can learn to use these inner walls and outer obstacles to climb up outside of the cave ( I know I am mixing theologies) without fearing it. For example, place a hand in the way out the kitchen (create a block in the predetermined path) and play with using the obstacles as help instead of avoiding them. Use this with words too. The mindset creates the landscape.
- Human touch is healing and we forget it over time. Play with the edges of touch by switching on cue from a hug to a tussle and have fun with moving on the scale. Allow yourself to accept both sides of the same coin and heal inside.
- Ties are knots in a rope ladder – Use your anchors as points of reference and find new anchors as you go along the sail. Physically you give yourself binds from not being able to use one arm to keeping both knees touching at all times and play a tussle and doing chores to find new ways to use the ropes and ladders. Every time you play with binds, you find new keys. It is not the keys that matter. It is the process which gives you the next step you need in a real bind.
The framework presented here is exceptionally wide of breadth and vague. Life is like that too and planting the seeds of innovation and going through the breach in the wall as a daily practice and game is the key to finding your way when the unexpected comes.