Small bullies


I was usually victorious in the playground. I held my own against ones and twos and threes. I once faced six older bigger boys and they won. They won the first. They did not win the second.

Figure that as you will.

A side note: If you consider the tone harsh, you may not remember how children fight.

The subject of bullies usually goes towards the prevention of bullies. That will not happen as it is a part of the human condition to seek dominance and bullies represent a small type of that warfare.

Let us invest in accepting the human way of now and dealing with it. You do not cross the mountain by walking around it. You cross it by learning your innate ability to make the mountain your ally. fire is death and fire is life. Make the obstacle a ladder and climb it up. This may not seem kid friendly but kids are people and when you treat them as such they grow up instead of just growing old.



We start at the mind because the affects stay there the longest. Bones mend but perceptions can scar a lifetime. The body makes its own micro choices but the mind is the leader.

Set up the inner playground:

  1. It is ok to lose. Just do better next time. Small steps are harder to stop.
  2. Some people say things because they want you to believe them. Not because they do.
  3. It is ok to make things up as you go. No one knows the entire picture.
  4. No one is perfect including dead heroes and the published word.
  5. Defense is answering a stupid question. Never answer, always choose.
  6. It is all right to say NO. It is a choice and it is yours.
  7. Always look at things from all sides of the transactions. Does everyone benefit ? Is it getting better or worse ? What is the direction ? Does it fit your needs as well as the needs of the others?
  8. Jokes and laughter take the sting and stink away from many things.
  9. No self improvement is ever finished. Enjoy the road and the wind in your hair if you have any.
  10. Sometimes you just lose. It can take a while to climb but seeing the landscape helps. There are small favors in each cruelty if you make it through and even if you don’t. Make the landscape wide in your head.
  11. Play the game of losing and winning in your head on a regular basis. Work it out so you know what you want to do when you win and when you lose. Win a few times (in different ways) for every time you lose in your head.


I know about people who always win with grace. In books and comics.

  1. There is a great book – six ways in twelve ways out – find different ways to do the same thing. That goes for many things. Tying your shoe laces, the way to school, brushing your teeth and so on. Creating a mindset that you can find a way is more important than practicing common movement in a martial art class. Later on, there is a need to work this in a confrontational manner. bypass pushing hands and feet, find ways to keep moving when held and so on in small steps and with many laughs. Finding humor in the process of finding the way is key in continuing on that important facet of living.
  2. “From the top of the mountain you can only see the mountain” We all build walls around us to protect and shy away from the unknown and the dangerous in our mind. We can learn to use these inner walls and outer obstacles to climb up outside of the cave ( I know I am mixing theologies) without fearing it. For example, place a hand in the way out the kitchen (create a block in the predetermined path) and play with using the obstacles as help instead of avoiding them. Use this with words too. The mindset creates the landscape.
  3. Human touch is healing and we forget it over time. Play with the edges of touch by switching on cue from a hug to a tussle and have fun with moving on the scale. Allow yourself to accept both sides of the same coin and heal inside.
  4. Ties are knots in a rope ladder – Use your anchors as points of reference and find new anchors as you go along the sail. Physically you give yourself binds from not being able to use one arm to keeping both knees touching at all times and play a tussle and doing chores to find new ways to use the ropes and ladders.  Every time you play with binds, you find new keys. It is not the keys that matter. It is the process which gives you the next step you need in a real bind.

The framework presented here is exceptionally wide of breadth and vague. Life is like that too and planting the seeds of innovation and going through the breach in the wall as a daily practice and game is the key to finding your way when the unexpected comes.




  1. BREATHE – Inhale and exhale through the nose for better control and filtration. Let each next breath come to you by listening to the body needs and you will breathe more calmly and be more connected to what your body is telling you.
  2. THE MIND IS THE CONTROL – Fill your day with laughter and positive actions. Avoid negative places (who keep the smell of those emotions) and people and find the good in any situation you can. Follow your bliss.
  3. NATURE IS A HEALER – Find a few minutes or more every day to spend silently observing nature. Our nerve systems release excess excitation and the body releases unwanted hormones.
  4. LET YOUR DIGESTION REST – Finish eating every day at sunset or before it and eat breakfast two to three hours after waking up. This way you allow the body to work on healing while you sleep and allow the growth hormone we release before waking to take positive affect in the body.
  5. CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW – Your body is fighting gravity all day. Spend 15-20 minutes upside down or at least in an angle over 45 with your head down to allow the blood vessel system to rest and balance.
  6. PLAY – The mind charges the body to release positive hormones to the system when engaged in joyful play. Find something you enjoy from dance to scrabble and pursue it.
  7. LEARN – The brain builds new connections and structures through study. Find a new language or skill to learn and tell your body to keep you young.
  8. SWING – hang on a tree branch or bar and just breathe. Let your body elongate and release the stress of compression and with the breath to lead, let the body swing naturally on the bar. That is one of the primal moving patterns of man and thus we communicate to the body to keep us in the game.
  9. ROLL – Lie on the ground and let the breath lead you in rolling front to back by using just the movement of the body itself. Go slowly and let the body shed excess tension and unneeded movement. Rolling is too a primal moving pattern of man and will keep you moving like a young self.
  10. SHAKE – Everyone shakes from fear or cold sometimes but we can use this innate mechanism to heal and release unwanted tension and emotion. Breathe and shake one body part or the body itself and release what is in excess. Shake the bleak off.

Spread yourself in your breath

Moments of crisis are easy to handle when you view them from afar. Spreading yourself in your breathing lets you see and handle yourself from a more composed point of view and become less swayed by the storm around you. Be inside your breath, all throughout yourself. Let the storm pass and all that shall remain will be you.

  1. Lay down to a comfortable position and shake your body with your breath as a tempo until you find a resting position.
  2. Listen to your pulse in your neck and let that awareness spread on the surface of your body. Feel the wave of pulse on the surface of your entire body.
  3. Feel the pulse through your wrists. Feel the blood moving through them and slowly tilt your forearms up and down to shift the major mass of blood up and down through the wrists. Extend the awareness of the pulse through the joints of the fingers and then up the body through the elbow and shoulders. Shift and tilt your body in different angles and twists to move the blood through your body and extend your awareness though all your joints including your hips, your ribs and spine.
  4. Inhale and extend the feeling to your face. Feel the pulse and temperature of your body in your face as you breathe and extend the feeling with time to your entire body. The skin breaths. The more you pay attention, the more your body and mind will work together.
  5. Lie down and breathe continuously.
    1. Place your awareness in your shoulders and breath by extending them up and pressing them down.
    2. Go down to the chest and breathe with your chest expanding and contracting.
    3. Lower yourself to the ribs and breathe through their movement.
    4. Go inside into your upper diaphragm and breathe through contracting and releasing it. Notice that here the body internal pressure does the exhale work for you.
    5. Lower yourself to the lower diaphragm (pelvic floor) and breathe through shifting the pressure on the upper diaphragm.
    6. Lift your legs up and breathe through pressing your hips to your body and releasing the pressure.
    7. Turnover on your stomach and breathe by twisting and binding your spine slowly.
    8. Lie down again and inhale by swallowing air with your mouth and throat and exhaling by relaxation.
  6. Let your breathing sync with your pulse. Inhale on one pulse and exhale on the other. Extend to a smooth inhale over two pulses and the same in exhale. Extend further to what you can stretch yourself over and listen to your body

Being there in the moment takes work and time. Go inside and you will sail your own boat.

Death in the mirror


Humans live in families, tribes and now in societies. We evolved our neural conduct and mental awareness to adept and sync with others for survival and acceptance.

The same behavior that saves and nourishes us in peacetime can get us killed and hurt during a struggle. Pushing requires you to tense the route of support to the pressure but pushing against the knife has obvious deterrents to it unless you live in a comic book.

Here are a few examples of mirrors in struggle. Do the work and see what conclusions you reach naturally. Trust your entire system. Your mind, your feelings and your body.

  1. Take a short stick and try to touch the end of it to your partner. Move continuously and smoothly and then just stop and relax your arm to become limp. As you see your partner mirror your relaxation, move toward them and repeat until they naturally come to a new realization.
  2. Take the same stick from the previous play and start advancing on your partner but with a repeating pattern of movement or a repeating target area. As you see your partner relax into the pattern/area, release the fixation and repeat until they naturally come to a new realization.
  3. Take a longer stick (walking stick or longer) and aim to touch the flat of it to your partner as they evade. Use your gaze to suggest one target to the partner and follow through with the stick. As you see your partner trust the eye contact, release the fixation and repeat until they naturally come to a new realization.
  4. Take two short sticks and give one to your partner. Aim to touch your partner with the flat of the stick and have them use their stick to deflect yours. Move so you apply tension to the vector of approach so the contact of the partner stick halts. As you see your partner trust the contact response, release the tension and follow through with a relaxed hold. Repeat until they naturally come to a new realization.
  5. Grab a partner limb and aim to guide them to the ground and up continuously by pulling, pushing and twisting. Have them resist and as they go comfortable in the direction, reverse it and go full circle from one end to another. Repeat until they naturally come to a new realization.
  6. Walk with a partner and change your walking and posture as you walk and talk. You know what to do.


Stay within yourself so you can swim in the waves instead of being channeled.

Notes from class: Don’t be there

It may be nice to be Superman but for mortals it may be wise to sometime move out of the way. Let us explore how to best do that.

  1. Have a few friends attempt to walk through you at walking speed. Avoid being bumped into by moving out of the way.
  2. Repeat the drill and add that you cannot look at the same direction for more than it takes to take a step.
  3. Repeat the drill and add that you also try to push the partners from the back (bring to your mind the idea of angles of engagement). Extra points if you bump them into each other or a tree. If you are doing this outside, be carefull to avoid small children and friendly dogs.
  4. Repeat the drill and add that one of the partners engages in running pace. Avoid placing your tounge between your teeth. I have been there.
  5. Have your partners come to engage you in a hold in a building manner. This means the moment one makes contact , the second moves to innitiate and so on. Focus on staying free or end up at the bottom of the pile.
  6. Repeat the drill with one of the partners engaging in a running pace.
  7. Repeat the drill with the intention to set up the contact yourself. Choose who to engage and move toward them yourself and maintain a moving contact. Keep moving as you engage. Otherwise you may experience the sensation of the ground pressing on your from below.
  8. Repeat the drill but have the partners work as a group. Have them try to crowd you into a location or direction so you maintian not only freedom of contact but your own heading. One contact by your own choosing may be better than five when you are also not on friendly ground.
  9. Repeat the drill but have two people work the avoidance together. Have them help each other stay free and on course. Plan a betrail of one of the partners from time to time to have a good laugh and to bring light on the reality of fear and trust in the non fiction world….

Keep moving.


Notes from class – Invisible in plain sight

Freedom is very tangible. You feel it, you see it, you know it. It is also one of the easiest qualities to loose by pursuing a moment of it which already lies in the past.

Here are three methods to preserve ourselves from pursuing freedom and thus attaining it.

  1. The invisible touch – Touch hands or feet  with a partner and have them push and pull and twist on you. Maintain the contact but allow no force to travel through it by moving your body, limbs and maintaining relaxed eyes.  Continue up the limbs to the hips and shoulders with this work and then go body on body until you are free to move within any movement. To further work this understanding of self, tense your body in different ways and learn to move within your tension.
  2. The invisible frame – Start three paces from each other and have one advance on the other. Work to maintain the appearance of your frame for the partner by moving your mass, your tension and parts of you to allow them to sink into your frame without any substance in it. Slowly close the distance from three paces to one and engage each other at the same time. Remember your eyes hold both your and your partners frames and alignment. Do not stick to a plan but let the situation blossom with your participation.
  3. The invisible blade – lie down on your back and breath continuously. Let the feeling of this never-ending movement spread through your body and limbs. Close your eyes and have a partner press first the flat of a blade to your body. Feel the pressure and and press back with your entire body. Cover the entire body with this work and continue to the end of the handle repeating the work on a point surface. Continue to placing the blade on the body and breathing where the breath does not increase the tension against the blade. Continue to placing the tip of the blade on the body and breathing where the breath does not increase the tension against the blade. Continue to lightly pressing the blade to the body and moving with the contact and then with the tip of the blade. Continue to cover the work so far with your eyes closed, standing against a wall and then finally open your eyes and repeat the touch and frame work with the blade and finally with several partners and blades.

I do not believe in wasting space. Not with excess movement or words. Some things are always worth saying though. Those are of kindness and of honesty. Be honest and kind in your practice. Both may preserve you and your spirit onward.

Ten books for inner maintenance and growth

We suffer and grow and learn and connect with each breath.

To keep the equation on the positive side and to make our cup larger so we can take more in, we must learn who we are and unlearn who we were.

Waking the tiger.

Letting energy flow through us instead of creating a fetid well of darkness.

Tracking and the art of seeing

Letting the wholeness and acceptance of nature come into your awareness and at the same time learn to see yourself as just one more piece of the puzzle. A picture cannot be taken without affecting the whole.

Diary of a baby

We were not always who we are now and in order to move forward cleanly, we must be able to move on the scale and understand how the process itself commences. The initial vector is not enough. You must travel the road.

Death in the long grass

Learn to shift your point of view from entity to entity and to the whole. This comes in a very practical package here with the hunter viewpoint but immersion brings with it lessons that cannot be learned from afar. Immerse yourself and let your consciousness float.

Fascial Release for Structural Balance

I am very much against relying on massage for release but the book presents many pathways for self release of tension and opening dams of tension to flow and realign anew.

Eat fat to get thin

This tome of analysis shows a great example of how logic is just another one of the tools in the toolbox. Another gift this book grants is a release from dogma and that if a lot of people believe and preach something. It does not make it true. Make your own test, fly your own kite in the sky and laugh in the face of the faceless horde.

The hero with a thousand faces

Legends sit deep inside us as do the lessons of our fathers. To unearth them we can dig at our understanding of what is it we were brought up to aspire to.

Loving what is

A simple path to getting rid of the friction between what we want and what exists. Progress happens easier with less burden.

The talent code

What is practice and what is deep practice. Which slivers of the lesson are getting through and how to open the gates and deepen your tuning to the moment.


How to evolve as a teacher of self and of others with a kind heart and enjoy the process.

And thank you to my friends and family. I am your book and you are mine.

Realizing we are afraid in the body and in the mind and having the humility to admit it to ourselves and to others gives us the power to release it and reach mastery. Don’t ignore the tension and the fear. Make it your own and control it. Than there will be less of it.